Thursday, November 24, 2005

Travels with Spence, Thanksgiving Day

OK, here we go. Yippee for the holidays. I'm headed from Hanover to Boston to Baltimore to Maryland's Eastern Shore to see my Dad and his side of the family. I've been thinking about this trip for awhile now and I decided that measures had to be taken to somehow keep myself connected to sanity while en-route and ensconced in the wild and crazy group that is my family. My Honey was able to procure a sweet G4 laptop from work and I'm charged up and ready to connect to the first wireless network I can find. OK, deep breath. I think if I can stay connected to you all I'll be ok...

At the moment I'm sitting on a bus to Logan Airport, driven by Ed. It's 7:23 am and I've been up since 5:30...It's only a 25 minute ride from home to the bus but it's snowing and the roads are pretty girl is spewing about how she spun around on the way here and almost hit a telephone pole. You live in the Northeast...learn how to drive in the crap for crying out loud! Then there was a crisis because there's no room for anyone in the parking lot. Thankfully my office is right across the street so I left my car there with a sigh of relief. Spin Out Girl took my advice and did the same as she's returning tonight and would be sad if her car was towed.

Anyway, I'm meeting my awesome brother and his amazing girlfriend at the airport and then we'll fly together and end up at our destination by about 5:00 tonight. My cousin is an ICU nurse in Annapolis and has to work today so we're having Thanksgiving tomorrow. Thank the goddess for my bro is all I can say. See, I don't know this side of the family all that well. My folks were divorced when I was 7 and I only ever saw them on holidays and sometimes not even then. It's ok - they're cool people - all three of my cousins went to Dartmouth which is pretty much where I live now so we have some common ground around's fine.

OK, time for some new info... you see, this is the side of the family that didn't know I was gay until long after I had come out to myself and the rest of the world. I just wasn't sure how it would go. After the 7th or 8th gay joke of the holiday (8 or 9 years ago) I pretty much decided that I'd let them figure it out for themselves. No need to ruin everyone's day, especially mine.

So now they know and it's interesting because there will be some gay slur or joke and then they'll realize that they're talking about ME and somehow they think, "Oh but you're not like that..." even though they don't say it...and I'm thinking, "Oh but you're right, I'm not like that...and neither are all of the other gay people in the world and you really are talking about me..." Somehow I'm not like "one of them." Heh... funny how people perceive it all...they're evolving slowly - a few of them have even come out as (shocked gasp) Liberal Democrats which has actually garnered them much more criticism and ridicule than my admission ever's been a few years since we've all been together and now there are 4 babies to play with so hopefully the focus will be on them...and I'll get my kid fix for awhile too... joy.

For me, if you know me, you know this about me. I don't hide, I'm not ashamed, I believe that coming out is somewhat of a duty - visibility is important and coming out helps people realize that we are, in fact, everywhere and most of us, like most straight people, are productive, talented, worthwhile human beings...but I don't just come out and tell you until it's relevant. When I meet new people, I get to know them a bit, I gain their trust and kind of feel them out to see if they seem homophobic...and once I have a pretty good idea that they'll be ok with it, I let them know. And the deal is that I usually do it before I've invested too much in the relationship so that if their reaction is negative, oh well - I didn't need them as a friend anyway. Alas, I hope I don't lose any readers as a result but if I do - whatever - feel free to click that little black "x" in the top corner of your screen. But I hope after a few months of reading about my world, you've already learned enough about me that this new bit of info is just that - info. But what would all this be about if it wasn't about taking risks, right? Right.

I'm getting better at the touch pad on this makes me feel like i have four thumbs, especially on the bus. They're showing "My Best Friend's Wedding" with Julia Roberts and Cameron Diaz. And Rupert Everett, who, I might point out for those of you not in the know, is gay in real life too. It's not my favorite movie but Julia Roberts is pretty fun in any role so that' good...

OK, I've never been able to read in a moving vehicle without getting car sick and it turns out that typing isn't much better. Ed is slamming his foot on the brake every 20 seconds or so which makes for lurching and queasiness. More when I get to the airport... over and out...


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