One foot in front of the other...

Since August, my world has been a bit of a roller coaster. Actually, a mountain climb would be more apt... one of those mountains with a few dozen false peaks... where you feel like you're making so much progress only to find that when you get to what you thought was the top, there's still a long way to go to the summit. And then you descend for a while, feeling angry that while you're hiking UP the mountain, there are ravines and rivers that require you to go DOWN before you can start gaining elevation again. It's hard to see the big picture - to realize that you're getting closer and closer to the top even though you're on a downward slope. It's still progress. So you keep going, one foot in front of the other, having faith that you'll get there eventually even though all your effort at times seems futile.

I'd say, today, I'm a little more than halfway to the summit of my climb. Just starting to peek above treeline, catching glimpses of the path ahead but still not in sight of the real summit. I'm so so much further along the path than I was 8 months ago. Today, despite the snow and freezing cold that persists up here in the northeast, perspective is good...as is gratitude.

Gratitude is a bit of a new concept for me... Momo posted a passage last week that left me feeling greatful where before I had just felt a little bitter, a little angry, kind of wronged. I wanted to remember it so here's the part that really spoke to me... (but read the whole thing at Mo's site too - it's good):

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong-doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on. – Drew Chalker

Interpersonal relationships can be so hard. But if they were easy, then we wouldn't grow through them. And growing is kind of the whole point, don't you think? Growing toward happiness, growing toward a better you... it's the journey, not the summit where you learn the most. And once you reach the summit - you realize that there are SO many other summits to find. So you start the new journey.

I think that's why triathlon is the one thing I've really been able to stick with... to make a permanent part of my life. I learn so much more about myself during the months and months of training than I do on that one race day.

Pretty cool to look back and see what's behind me...