Monday, February 26, 2007

No Longer Frazzled!!!

So I'm no longer feeling like this:

Time to dust this baby off, clean up the cobwebs and get on with it!!! If you've been stopping by, the only changes you may have noticed if you noticed anything at all is that the workouts in my sidebar are growing! I'm SOOOOOOOO far ahead of where I was last year at this time... and it feels really good.

So, let's recap the last 6 months, shall we?
August - ended 12 year relationship and moved to my own place.
September - hiked, biked and played with some fun new friends, spent intensive time in therapy learning how to be alone but not lonely
October - began my descent into seasonal depression hell, continued therapy
November - cried, cried, cried, cried, cried some more, went to psychiatrist for new meds, lost Grandma, paid therapist more money than I had,, yeah.... cried.
December - continued to cry, realized my meds were not working correctly and were making me more anxious than anything, spent the holidays working to get my big annual project done in time to go to Las Vegas, spent New Year's Eve in my office feeling glad I had an excuse to not be social
January - FINALLY the new year. Decided to go off bad meds, realized as I tapered off of them that I was just on too high a dose and that the lower dose did the trick, reached out to as many friends as possible and every single one of them reached back, had a fantastic trip to Vegas and enjoyed the sunshine (but no gambling!!), was introduced to a fun new friend who lives in ATLANTA, returned from Vegas a new person having realized that the world is so much bigger than me and holds so much promise and opportunity...feeling about 1000% better than I did in December.
February - continued the upward spiral of feeling good, playing ice hockey, working out with a bunch of HARD CORE triathletes (one of 'em swam the English Channel!!!), still losing weight and feeling so so much better...finally catching glimpses of feeling happy being alone, not lonely, no more crying, lots more therapy, lots of laughing with friends, training and feeling good. Miles ahead of where I was at this time last year fitness wise...

And looking forward....

March - going to visit HOTLANTA to get the grand tour of the city, try out some two-steppin', hear some live music, take a peek at a few masters swim teams in action (and maybe swim with one), and get a pulse of the place to see if it could be my new home come September. It's really time to see if the weather in VT is part of what makes me so painfully miserable from October to April. This is the first winter in many that I'm feeling as good as I do right now... and I honestly think if I could shift the seasons so that I got 9 months of summer and 3 months of spring/fall instead of 7 months of winter, 2 months of mud season, and 3 months of summer/fall that I'd be so much better off. I have to at least try it. If I'm the same, then maybe New England really is my forever home. But I have to try first. And daylight savings is in just THREE short weeks!!!! Holy cow!!!

Waffling between excited and terrified, motivated and paralyzed...but mostly I feel like I'm getting to know myself better...and that's what it's about right now. Things are finally starting to fall into place...

Anyone out there familiar with the Atlanta triathlon scene?

Hope everyone is doing well...I'm still reading...just lurking for a spell...will get back to regular posts soon...

Train hard!!!

Saturday, February 03, 2007

Life is Good

Things are so so so much better in my world since 2007 started. It's a little unsettling how quickly things turned around. I think it's mostly due to the fact that I reached out to a whole bunch of friends and family and every one of them rallied to be sure I was not alone, I was involved and I knew I was loved. That, and my depression meds seem to have stabilized...better living thru chemistry. I'm one lucky kid... and so thankful for everything...

Trip to Vegas was fine - pretty uneventful and very sunny and nice. The ski show went great, my booth looked just fine and all the sales reps were happy with my product catalog design. Plus, getting out of my local world for awhile makes me realize just how much bigger the real world's such a relief to know that there's so much more out there. I have some plans marinating, things are underway for some big changes, and I feel much less afraid to meet the challenges ahead of me. Amazing.

The training front is also going really well. You can see what I've been up to in my sidebar or by viewing my public log at coolest training log site ever (my log is hollyfish). Mini non-team swim meet tomorrow at Phillips Exeter Academy...I think only 4 of us are's not a big deal for me but it's something fun to do for the day with friends... not passing up on any of that right now. Friends are my lifeline.

We finally have SNOW so skiing is in the near future. Top that off with the formation of a new morning running group...and invites to play pond hockey regularly...things are just moving right along!! And it's a good thing since you'll notice my countdown timer to Timberman has dropped below 200 days!!! YIKES!!! I'm well ahead of where I was a year ago and fired up to keep's all good.

Hope you all are enjoying the start of your new year. Not sure how much blogging I'm going to be doing for the next little is calling. But I'm still reading and keeping up with you all...know that you provide daily inspiration!!!

Train hard... and stay safe and healthy!